The cherry blossom season often symbolizes graduation—a time to leave school behind with memories of friends. But for some, this seemingly ordinary milestone was out of reach.
The Weight of Absence
Coco (a pseudonym), a sixth-grader in Saitama Prefecture, is among those who couldn't attend her school graduation due to school refusal, which began after a close friend transferred schools in first grade. Struggles with classmates and teachers followed, and she hasn't attended since last June. Attempts to go resulted in shaking hands and feet at the school entrance. She blamed herself, sometimes resorting to self-harm. In a "gratitude notebook," she wrote wishes like "I hope I can go to school happily," trying to change her perspective. While she found a welcoming通信制 (correspondence) free school where she started a history club, the inability to attend her official graduation left her with complex feelings.
Healing the Past
This month, a special "graduation ceremony" was held in Tokyo for people like Coco. Organized by talents, experts, and companies supporting school refusal, it aimed to offer a new start for those who couldn't participate in their school ceremonies in the way they wanted. With school absenteeism surpassing 340,000, a record high, many face graduation day with mixed emotions. The event, accepting applications nationwide, saw 29 participants aged 12 to 60.
Stories of Resilience
Participants' motivations were profound. A 19-year-old aspiring teacher wanted to "graduate" her elementary school self left behind in the gymnasium. A 26-year-old father wanted to resolve his past so he could answer his future child's questions about his school days. Ayumi Nagai, 48, who left nursing school decades ago after falling ill and being unable to fit in, remembered crying alone in the parents' seats at her classmates' capping ceremony. Through online "Sky Blue School" sessions before the event, participants reflected on their lives, sharing stories of pain, job-hopping, and eventually finding purpose, like Nagai, who became a counselor and now sees value in her past struggles.
A New Beginning
At the ceremony, each participant took the stage. Nagai, after 30 years, expressed her newfound perspective: "I now enjoy my not-so-ordinary life to the fullest. Everyone will surely be okay from now on." Coco, whose hair was styled by another 17-year-old participant—fulfilling a long-held wish to experience such camaraderie—felt the day was a turning point. "It became a day I could stand on the starting line to step forward anew," she said, feeling truly able to congratulate herself for her efforts and hardships. The event fostered a powerful sense of community, with participants already expressing a desire to return as volunteers next year, hoping to support others on a similar path.
